It was a Friday and I was spending my lunch break walking in the back parking lot of the Citizen’s bank building. There the heavy rains had washed out one of the embankments into the parking lot. I was kicking stones into the little stream that runs in the ditch nearby to kill the time. I was pretty useless at work; It was one week exactly before my last day on the job. I was just watching the time tick down until I was free from the office forever.
Finally I decided I should head back to the office. On my way back across the washout I kicked something that looked like a stone or stick, but when I kicked it some of the dirt fell off. It was a bone; A big bone. It looked too big to be a deer; it really looked… human.
I thought that I should probably call the cops, human bones: that’s their department. But this was a crazy thing and I didn’t want to get involved. If it was just an old animal bone I’d feel very foolish calling the cops down here. So instead I called my co worker for a second opinion.
She said to definitely call the cops.
I argued that it most likely wasn’t a human bone and I’d feel silly if I got the police to come down here for something stupid. They’re pretty busy. After some time she suggested that I walk next door, to the the fire department, and get a firefighter to look at it. They might know what human bones look like and then they can call the cops. I just wanted a second opinion after all. I took a picture of it with my cellphone and, knowing full well that human bones are not the Fire Department’s department, I headed next door to the fire department.
My lunch break headed into its second hour.
I walked through the fire department’s door and into a dark hall. I heard someone call “hello?” and turned the corner to see a dozen men watching TV. I said hi to all the fire fighters and showed them all the picture on my cell phone. They said it definitely looked human so one of them called the cops.
I hung out with a friendly EMT until the cops showed up.
First the Sargent showed up. Then a regular patrol man. I showed them the pic and they wanted to go to the scene. The regular cop offered to give me a ride in his cruiser which I accepted, “Cool I’m gonna ride in a police car” I thought to myself. He opened the back door to the cop car and said that he to pat me down before I could get in the back of the car.
I was patted down and then got into the backseat, behind the barrier. I was getting that irrational fear of cops thing pretty strong right about this time. The car started to move and the officer got on his radio:
“This is officer ____ en route from fire station 4 transporting adult white male to Davol parking lot.”
I was nervous.
We drove back behind the building to the corner of the parking lot and the officer let me out of the car. The few Citizen Bank employees that were nearby starred at me.
I showed the Sargent and the officer the big bone.
“That looks human” they said
“Were there anymore?” one asked. And before I could answer the other one said “Hey there’s another one -and its even bigger!”
It was big. And then we noticed that there were bones everywhere. I had been walking all over bones for the previous hour and just hadn’t noticed a thing.
The Sargent couldn’t get Crime Scene on the phone. He called repeatedly until finally he gave up and let his phone rest. I stood back and tried to take pictures with my cell phone. The younger officer noticed me doing this and asked me to stop.
They asked me for a witness statement and all my information. Afterwards the Sargent said. “Why don’t you stick around for a bit.”
That didn’t help my irrational nervousness. My heart was beating faster. I called my boss, not just to tell her where I was, but also maybe it could turn into an excuse to leave. She didn’t answer. I left a voicemail saying that I was hanging out with the police in the back parking lot.
My lunch break stretched on.
Eventually the Crime Scene Investigation van showed up after about an hour and then things really got down to business. They took a lot of photos and then pulled the big bone out of the ground. It was obviously a femur. You could tell from the ball joint at the end.
I didn’t just find one big bone. Now I was at a crime scene. Any fun there may have been in my exciting lunch break was gone and now this was serious business. I really wanted to leave the scene now.
I called my boss again, but still no answer. I called my co worker, but she didn’t pick up either.
Then I saw my co worker. She was walking through the parking lot and bringing me a glass of water. She asked me if everything was ok and if I needed a drink. It was hot out. I was so happy to see a familiar face.
This was it; It was time to make my escape.
I asked the officers nicely if I could leave. I said “Well its been really interesting watching you guys work, but I’d like to sit down. Its hot out here. If you don’t mind I’d really like to go back inside”
The officers looked at each other for a moment in some secret cop-signal. Then the Sargent spoke.
He said “Are you just going to be inside?”
“And are we going to be able to get in contact with you?”
“Yea you can go”
I walked away. Fast, but not so fast as to look suspicious.
Inside I was bombarded with questions and people. I showed them all the bone picture on my phone. Then we went out on the roof and watched. By then the whole area was taped off with yellow crime tape and there were more cops and men with ties who were not in uniform. By the time I left channel 10 was there filming for the 6 O’clock news.
Later on it occurred to me that I still felt a little odd about kicking someone’s bones around. My apologies, sir, I did not realize that it was your leg.
Update: Read the links for more bone news!